i think we have a pulse.

and guess what?

i think i'm back.

no more saying goodbye anymore, eh guys? heh.

it's been a long while.

try now to convince me otherwise
i'm sure i'm lost in your immaculate motion
yet i know your heart lies with the past
and i'm just the withered in the midst of a full bloom-

it's just about two weeks into proper lessons already. another lifeless saturday.

vjc's been a blast. orientation was great i'd say. guess it's based on feeling this sense of familiarty, stepping into a supposedly distinctly new institution. i daresay it's allowed me to be much more outspoken than i already am, considering the people i know there. much of my confidence i attribute to the wonderful development my alma mater has given me.

and now it's proper school life with lessons and trainings and stuff. lectures haven't been interesting at all, to date. save maybe one or two, most lectures end up with me struggling to stay awake or writing away on notes and letters. tutorials bring a fresh change; thankfully my tutors are the quite entertaining to say the least. seems like i'll have to keep up with the syllabus quite closely. training's daily, so i don't get to see the light of day when i get to leave school. isn't that exhausting.

orientation group barbecue was on yesterday, though by the time i got there after training most of the food was gone. 'twas alright, i suppose. not the best of moods maybe? but well. a pleasant time nonetheless. i haven't had the luxury of watching the waves lap over in a while, listening to them crash ever so gently onto the soft, sandy beach. mitigates all sorts of bad feelings.

i hope i can cope with this. so far it's alright i guess. nothing much to worry about, till the second intake comes and the real work starts i guess. will just keep my fingers crossed then.

so here we are now, at the end of a year. the last day of the year 2005.

this year on a whole has been a rather eventful one. it's one of those years you simply can't forget, down to the most irrelevant details of it all. it's one of those years that really mattered, in more ways than one no doubt. with all that has happened, i find it hard to accept that the year's almost gone.

secondary school education has been fun. in every way possible, to add to that. all that nonsense and havoc so characteristic of ourselves, nothing more i could ask for to brighten up and breathe life into our mundane, routine school lives. such is the spirit of our class, one that won't fade easily with time. hardly do you ever find a class where everyone's a star in his own right, where no one is segregated or left behind. rarely would you stumble upon one that has its students doing everything together; notwithstanding facing up to the harsh, caustic words of reprimand- camaraderie at its best.

typically it would be a joyous occasion today. the year's coming to an end in less than a day, and as the chic and chichi party crowd hits the streets to celebrate the dawn of a new year, i can't help feeling that something's amiss.

two years back it was, right in the youth hub of town at the cathay cineleisure complex. as it was, i was due to catch a night screening there with a charming friend of mine. the city streets were filled with the presence of life and the unmistakable festive spirit, as everyone prepared to count down the remaining seconds of what would be the old year, holding out arms wide open to welcome the new year. despite the crowd, i felt like i was in my own oasis of joy; an anomaly in reality, with only the both of us. and that was how it remained as the first hour of the new year crept up on us; pure, untainted euphoria. and that was it- enrapturement. throughout the entire duration spent together it was simply blissful jubilance.

i won't bore you with details, but those who know the story should know how everything fits in. suffice to say, much of that's not possible anymore; 'twould seem foolish to even think about it. and if my charming friend gets to read this, well, heaven forbid then. sincerest wishes for a happy new year to all then.

I AM GOING NUTS.

but not many people watch this space so it's okay.

a calm, quiescent wednesday evening.

'O' levels have been done with for about a week now. holidays are here, what with too much free time in our hands. somehow it just doesn't feel quite the same; the euphoria's missing, all our self-professed enjoyment gone. maybe it's just me, honestly i don't find much to do. as i shall quote a few people:

'You have no life ah?'

can't say i didn't have my fun though. the two barbeques were great over at jared's and mak's place. definitely delightful. shopping with mak and zhao is absolutely hilarious, though i daresay most of the time the humour has an uncanny tendency to be directed at me. 'sides that, i must admit. i've hardly done anything else.

ended up going back to school to work out a bit today. cancelled plans, last minute trends. not that circumstance has given me much of a choice anyway. what a tragedy.

really, i don't feel like saying much. just filling up empty spaces. so there-

our passing of age, a chapter thus ended; our ineluctable curtain call.

my preliminary exams were okay. in fact, better than i expected. or maybe it's just that i've never hit below twenty for my L1R5, and suddenly i'm at ten. stunned me indeed. but oh well. shall be banking on victoria to accept me.

it took us four years to get here. now do we really want to leave?
it's such a strange feeling. not that i can really recall the day i left my primary school. wasn't a great period anyway, my innocently youthful years of primary education. to blatantly proclaim my innocence would be an outright lie. so there.

graduation day wasn't exactly the greatest. a lil' less shouting would've improved the overall mood by leaps and bounds. i'm certain no one felt the least bit gratified at the end of it all. then again, it would've been fitting if the right person was caught. honestly, he would've made an exemplary move IF the right person was caught instead, and allowed the proceedings to continue, with the scoldings commencing outside.
truly nostalgic. our eventful, vivacious and colourful lives in our fine institution revisited with the mere display of pictures. what men we are! from our naive, untried selves we were to the matured, refined and irrevocably charismatic gentlemen, for we christen ourselves the name 'Victorian", emblazoned not only on the P.E. shirts so emblematic of the Victorian tradition, but most importantly in our hearts where it will remain for the many years to come.


i'll honestly miss those times. for all the times we laughed, for all those times we got into trouble, for every little joke we had about the person sitting right next to us, they were all that i needed to get me through every day.

the friends who were there
when i couldn't even care
about the world in a spare
moment of it all.


then there is the class. the class of 4F. none can ever usurp from us our throne of notoriety, besides the likes of maybe 4B. our ability to have fun when it is due (and even then, when it isn't due) is widely known, and is simply unmatched. nonpareil, sui generis. though it may seem all very poetical and emotional, i will not forget the thirty-nine classmates i spent two of my most memorable years of secondary school life with. notwithstanding the many others i've come to know over the course of my educational sojourn in Victoria School. my toast to 4F, success unbounded will be your reward with the necessary diligence and hard work that is demanded from us all. our dreams and hopes are nothing but empty vessels, with nothing to substantiate at all. achievements are our real and physical manifestations of these vessels, substantiated by our beliefs, fortified by our efforts.

and who can ever forget the beautiful skyline, the dazzling view from the top of the world. nil sine labore.